


Badfic Wannabe

by thebasement_archivist



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Bad Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 1998-06-30
Updated: 1998-06-30
Packaged: 2018-11-20 14:42:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11337597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thebasement_archivist/pseuds/thebasement_archivist
Summary: Note from alice ttlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived atThe Basement, which moved to the AO3 to ensure the stories are always available and so that authors may have complete control of their own works. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address onThe Basement's collection profile.





	Badfic Wannabe

**Author's Note:**

> Note from alice ttlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Basement](http://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Basement), which moved to the AO3 to ensure the stories are always available and so that authors may have complete control of their own works. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Basement's collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/thebasement/profile).

 

Badfic Wannabe by Snoop Doggy Spice

Badfic Wannabe  
by Snoop Doggy Spice

The Badfic Consortium is not amused by the deluge of submissions and pretenders to Badfic invading our mailbox and other regions of the internet. We are too frequently put in the awkward position of telling people that their stories aren't BAD enough. Snoop Doggy Spice sums up our feeling in verse. Only the very worst will be archived! Don't call us, we'll call you!

* * *

Yo, tell me what you write, what you really really write  
I'll tell you what I write, what I really really write,  
So tell me what you write, what you really really write,  
I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really  
I really really really wanna write badfic-ah!  
If you want to be good, you'll come in last  
So just be awful, and type real fast  
But if you try then, good times are had  
Proving once again that it's good to be BAD!  
Yo, tell me what you write, what you really really write  
I'll tell you what I write, what I really really write,  
So tell me what you write, what you really really write,  
I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really  
I really really really wanna write badfic-ah!  
If you wanna write some badfic  
Ya gotta get with the worst  
With our mangled prizes  
The stinkers come in first!  
If ya wanna write some badifc  
You have got to try  
Mutilate fold and spindle-  
English, you know why!  
So you think that you're bad?  
Some cliches you must steal  
But sound sincere so they'll say  
"Is this for real"?  
Try using lyrics, of stinky songs  
Never use your spellcheck and get sayings wrong  
Yo, tell me what you write, what you really really write  
I'll tell you what I write, what I really really write,  
So tell me what you write, what you really really write,  
I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really  
I really really really wanna write badfic-ah!  
Well here's the story from A to X  
You can write action or Mulder having sex  
Just use Chinese food and an evil dude  
Get Scully in green the best you've ever seen  
Samantha she, should turn up happily!  
Write predictably  
And bad you'll be!  
Slam your phrases down and twist them all around....  
you gotta, you gotta, slam, slam, slam, slam  
Slam your phrases down and twist them all around.  
Slam your phrases down and twist them all around.  
Slam your phrases down and twist them all around.  
Slam your phrases down badfic-ah  
If you wanna write badfic!


End file.
